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Merrily...Merrily...Merrily...Merrily...life is but a dream. [entries|friends|calendar]

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[14 Dec 2010|06:08pm]
So, it looks like I've neglected this thing for almost a year. Boo on my part, because I used to look forward to writing here. Then a little thing called facebook exploded. I spend way too much time there, but it doesn't compare to here. At all. I don't know...everything is, in a way, almost TOO simple? Make sense? And most days, I'm not the type of girl to fit everything I need to say in 400 characters or less. Never have been. :P Yet I'm still on facebook way too much. Maybe it's because that's where everyone is these days. Although, 2 years ago, it was myspace. 2 years from now...what will it be then? I realize, sadly, that I'm talking to crickets here. Ah well.

In keeping with the social networking craze, I have a youtube account now. Never would have thought I'd have one of those. There's mostly just recordings of me singing, so if you want to check it out, it's here:


Photography!! Oh, I am so in love with it! Not more than singing or writing, but it's pretty high up there on the list. I gotta have my creative outlets, or I'm pretty sure I'd have gone bonkers a very long time ago. So if you want to see my work, which I would love and so very much appreciate, it's here:


Obviously, a lot has happened within a years time, so just a little run-down. Actually, how bout just the two big things:

1. Back at NU for graduate school. NU has the most beautiful campus. I missed it, so I'm happy to be back. The work is a pain in my ass of course, but it wouldn't be graduate school without it.
2. Good friend of 5 years -> we finally admitted feelings (totally caught me offguard but my friends always swore he was in love with me by how he acted around me...I felt it but denied it) we had since day one of meeting each other --> but...he wimped out on me and got scared we were getting too serious too fast (we were, I admit it too.) He said he wanted to be with me but that we needed to go slow. I was totally fine with it, but his version of going slow was not my version of going slow. It's a much longer story, but to make the long story short, I decided to stop talking to him altogether because I was aggravated on a daily basis. I stopped calling/texting him...and do you know what happened? Nothing. It's been months and I still haven't heard one peep out of him, which makes me feel like crap. I thought it would be easier for me to cut off contact, but I'm still bummed about it. I went from this absolute high to this absolute low within a few months time. I lost a friend in the process too. Not fun. Having zero closure in a situation like this really, really sucks. But I guess that's the way it goes. I'm still not sure I did the right thing. But like I said, he hasn't once tried to call me or contact me, so I guess there's my answer. :(

Oh, love...it's a many splendored thing, isn't it?
2 Fuhgeddaboudit!s|~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[08 Feb 2010|05:42pm]
[ mood | optimistic ]

It makes my day when I get HANDWRITTEN, personal letters in the mail from amazing, talented people, as I did today. :)

3 Fuhgeddaboudit!s|~Make me an offer I can't refuse

Grammar Police [21 Oct 2009|07:00pm]
I need a siren.

If the below email is any indication of the future of grammar, I'm going to cringe. Actually, sadly enough, I guess the future is now because that's how often I see bad grammar at work. So, I'm cringing right now.

I'm not nearly as anal as I once was with grammar. In the Internet/texting age, it's kind of pointless to be that way. Plus, for how often I notice it, I would ALWAYS be complaining about it. It was easier to let it go. Then the below email appeared in my inbox and brought Janelle, the Grammar Nazi, back out again. This email is just ONE example I can use. Mind you, the person who wrote it is writing to the Department of Education. It's a sad, sad irony.

I don't ask for much. I ask for BASIC grammar and punctuation. BASIC! Is it really that hard to form complete sentences that have a PERIOD at the end? NO, it's not. It's no wonder I'm doing my research paper on adult illiteracy.

Emails like the one below drive me absolutely insane. Don't get me wrong, I use LOL's, BTW's, LMAO's, TTYL's, TY's, but there is a time and a place for it. Damnit, writing an email to a company (let alone to the Dept. of Ed. about your college loan) is NOT one of those times or places. If you want to make yourself sound at least halfway intelligent and not have your email passed around the department so we can get a good laugh out of it, put a little (in some cases, A LOT) of effort into it.

Without further adieu, read on, but your brain might hurt afterwards.

"hello im trying to fill out a student direct loan nd i had signed up for a mpn i think dats wut is called ... well it wouldnt let me do it it said dat i had to sign up up again ... nd well i did how long would it take for the ssa to let me fill out da application for students loans bcuz da loans r next week... nd well i still need sum skewl stuff dat i need to get well dats all i wanted to kno thanx nd sorry fo da bothe"

Okay, let's recap...

nd = and
bcuz = because
dats = that's
Wut = what
sum = some
r = are
kno = know
thanx = thanks
fo = for
bothe = bother

and lastly...

Skewl = school.

SKEWL!?!?! Really? Come ON, now. What!? The! Heck?!

Dude, seriously, invest in a dictionary. I am hoping (hoping BIG here) that this email is just laziness on his part. If not, oh boy, his college GPA is going to suffer.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[26 Jul 2009|08:28pm]
This is a true story I wrote a while ago about the night my parents house was broken into. Even though I was only seven at the time it happened, I still remember every detail as if it was yesterday seeing it is one of the most terrifying nights of my life.

Cops, Robbers, and Minnie MouseCollapse )
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[26 Jul 2009|03:48pm]
There have been skunk sightings in my neighborhood for the last year or so. My mom saw one walking across the street in broad daylight about a month ago, and one of my friends dogs was sprayed by one a couple months ago. Well, I experienced one of my very own skunk sightings last night. Not only was it a sighting, it was an extremely close encounter. How I managed to get away without getting sprayed is a little mindboggling.

I was reading outside around 10pm, and it was sorta windy outside, so the shrubs were rustling every once in a while. They caught my attention when they began to rustle louder. I looked over and didn't see anything, so I went back to reading. Then I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I glanced over, saw a white stripe, and knew what it was. He was about 3 feet away from me. I almost gasped, but quickly realized that probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, so I sat very still and watched him. He was sniffing around, but at one point he noticed I was there, paused and looked at me, but then went back to sniffing around. At first, I thought I could just sit very still and he would mosey on off, but he was getting closer, so I decided to try to get the hell out of there. There was a small table in front of me blocking me from going anywhere, so I had to move that first. Once I did that without startling the skunk, I got up and walked very slowly into the house. After that, the skunk disappeared out of sight.

Phhew!! I am SO glad the skunk didn't feel threatened by me. Had he sprayed me, I'd be sitting here right now smelling of skunk. And obviously, that wouldn't only have sucked for me, but the people around me for at least the next week or so.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[26 Jul 2009|01:20pm]
My nephew Zachary said the sweetest thing to me...we were talking about how people need to live good lives because we aren't here forever and he said, "You can live a good life, but you can live a better life if you wish upon a star." Awww...I love that he's such a poetic 7 year old!!
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[10 Jul 2009|08:04pm]
I have to say...getting blown off is just no fun. People tend to complain when they don't get invited to things, but then when you invite them, they don't show. Go figure, eh?

And absolutely NO ONE knows what RSVP means anymore.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

The King of Pop [07 Jul 2009|10:04pm]
First off, if you hold any strong negative opinions regarding Michael Jackson, this isn't a blog you should be reading. You are entitled to your opinion, but spout off negative remarks elsewhere because this isn't the place for it.

Watching Michael Jackson's memorial service today was a rollercoaster of emotions. It was powerful, touching, entertaining, heartwrenching, and lighthearted, but it was also very surreal. It is still hard to grasp that the man whose music I grew up on has died so young. He was an instrumental part of the entertainment world, but also my world as well. So many of his songs would be listed on the soundtrack of my life.

The day he died, a rare, pretty awesome moment happened later that night between me and my siblings. These days it's semi-difficult to get all four of us in the same room at the same time if it isn't a holiday. This night was different. We had a low key bonfire, and afterwards, after everyone else had gone to bed but the four of us, we hung out in my parents living room. Michael Jackson videos were on television, so we kept them on and watched them until 3 in the morning. It has been over 10 years since the four of us had an opportunity to just hang out, and it was kind of fitting that Michael Jackson brought us all together again in that respect. We talked about what a great performer he was and all the childhood memories his songs are attached to. To this day, I am still fascinated by his dance technique. In the last 50+ years of entertainment, no one has ever come close to touching it.

It's true that he was very eccentric, but I really believe that he was a victim of celebrity, as so many entertainers are. He was arguably the most famous entertainer that ever lived. The emotional, mental, and physical toll it takes on a person can be extremely damaging for an adult, let alone a child. None of us can fathom what it is like to have your childhood snatched right from under you because of fame. Michael Jackson was born to entertain the world and it is because of him that we were able to witness the greatest pop musical artist of all time. On the other hand, he was forced to give up the normalcy of childhood for it. Fifty years later, he paid the ultimate price. His life story is bittersweet in that it was triumphant, yet tragic.

I do not believe the accusations made against him. As often as he was around children, there would have been plenty more families that would have come forward if he was guilty. Numerous other things about the case just do not add up, which leads me to believe that extortion was the objective of the accusations, and nothing else.

Love him or hate him, no one can deny the fact that Michael Jackson changed the face of music with his artistic brilliance. He was a once in a lifetime entertainer. His music is timeless. I am proud to call myself a fan. What better way to honor his memory than to sing, dance, and come together through his songs for years to come.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[26 Jun 2009|12:33am]
It is such a devastating week for entertainment.

R.I.P. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson. Each one of them are legends in their own right.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[15 Jun 2009|10:08pm]
Have you ever had a moment where you are paralyzed with fear?Collapse )
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

"Career Opportunities Are The Ones That Never Knock" [10 Jun 2009|09:22pm]
So yeah, if you recognize the blog title, I borrowed it from The Clash. It's appropriate, considering how this craptastic economy is affecting everyone, including me.

I have been applying for jobs like a crazy woman for a while now. I'm not having much luck, but I'm still hopeful something will come along soon.

I just applied to a job with a makeup company, and along with the application was a mandatory survey to test my character. They aren't called character surveys, but that's exactly what they are. I think these surveys are ridiculous in how they try tricking you, but I know corporations just LOVE them and rely on their results, so it's a necessary evil in the application process, especially with retail jobs. I also understand WHY they do them. But still, they suck a big one.

I just got finished with one...it was about 30 pages. Of course, there were the same questions repeated four different ways throughout the whole thing, and I literally LAUGHED OUT LOUD when I came to these two:

It is maddening when the court lets guilty criminals go free.

There's no use having close friends; they always let you down.

The choices were:

Strongly disagree
Strongly agree

I have never seen questions on these surveys asked so bluntly, so I couldn't help but laugh. Seriously, just ask them that way through the whole thing. Don't bullsh!t around. But then again, the psychology to taking these things to begin with would be lost.

These surveys are filled with so much irony. I KNOW what they WANT me to click. If you know how to take them, you know that you are supposed to answer how the corporation expects you to. If you don't, you fail miserably and your application is tossed. If you do, you're an excellent candidate, but you're also dishonest regarding certain questions, which is why I think even doing them is bogus.

It would be amusing to see my results on these things. I took one for Sak's Fifth Ave a long time ago and the GM told me I passed with flying colors. An hour after I left the interview, she called me to tell me I got the job. I didn't take it because I think it's a pretty bad sign when a company is THAT desperate to hire. It all worked out though because I was hired at Estee Lauder shortly after and the next seven years as an employee there were awesome 95% of the time. That's what I hope for with whatever job I happen to get next.

Hope is such a big word, isn't it? But still, it keeps me optimistic. Being patient was never one of my strong suits and I have gotten better at it in the last couple years, but I am being tested more than ever, in the last year especially.

Sticking it out is always tough, but of course I will always choose that over giving up.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[08 Jun 2009|10:43pm]
It's a pretty sad day when you realize you cannot trust the people you once trusted the MOST.

That day happened for me a long time ago and I'm still experiencing the sadness from it. I'm just not used to the idea. It's not sinking in. A person, in this case, me, never wants to believe that people you care about are capable of such betrayal, secrecy, selfishness, and dishonesty.

But nothing I write here will change the fact that all these crappy things are very real for me right now.

I'm so very down in the dumps. Today was quite a day for me emotionally. And the people that I WANT to care, don't.

What to do. What to do.

I can get over it. Just not right now. Maybe tomorrow. Or sometime next month.

I feel like I broke up with an ex, am being forced to see him every single day, and reminded of why the break up took place to begin with.

If I could move far, far away from here for now, I would.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[31 May 2009|05:31pm]
Last night my family and I had our first ever Cousins Night. No Aunts. No Uncles. You might be thinking, Cousins Night? How dorky/cheesy/dopey is that? Yeah, we thought it too, but then we thought about it again and didn't care. lol

My dad is from a big Italian family. He is one of six kids, so my extended family is huge. If you count all my 100% Italian Grandma's brothers and sisters, I'm probably somehow related to every Italian in the area and even further out. Actually, growing up, it was funny to find out just how many people in the area I was related to. And sometimes it still happens.

Last night was such a blast. I haven't had so much fun, and laughed so hard, in a long time. No one can make me laugh like my family. We are very close, and we all actually LIKE each other and get along, which is awesome considering how many of us there are. I always know I'm going to have a GREAT time when I hang out with them, and last night was no different.

Love you guys!!!
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[28 May 2009|06:41pm]
Gah. I truly can't stand having to depend on people. It causes such an inconvenience. And then puts me in a bad mood. Like now.

~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[27 May 2009|12:09am]
This may sound a little bizarre to non writers, but I have been writing a full length screenplay, called Joy, and my characters are starting to talk to me. I have written a lot of fiction in my lifetime and never have my characters spoken to me this loudly. Writing the dialogue is becoming effortless. I can literally sit down and write (or type) pages and pages without hesitating or hitting a writing block. And THAT is an oddity. I hope it lasts until FADE OUT. I have faith that it will.

I just got my screenplay copyrighted and entered it into the Writer's Digest contest. If I land a spot even within the top 100 winners, it will seriously make my year. There are so many talented writers out there and obviously the competition is tough. They announce the winners in October, so I am anxiously awaiting.

If nothing comes of it, I'm going to contact a local filmmaker who was a guest speaker for my writing class while I was at NU. Hmmm. I probably should have done that to begin with. Anyway, the last I heard, he was shooting a film locally with James Garner, and I think Helen Hunt, which is so cool. He's a helpful contact to have and I was able to get his card, so I'm going to send him my screenplay and get his take on it. When he came to speak to our class, which only had about 15 people in it, he said he'd be willing to offer feedback on anything we've written. I'm hoping that he sees potential within my screenplay. If he does, maybe he will help me establish further contacts. I really want to get this film made. I'm not expecting a grand production, just a low budget flick.

If the day ever comes where I see my screenplay acted out on any theater screen, it will be overwhelming, to say the least...an overflow of emotions. It's a given that I'll get weepy, but that will last for just a second until I go into full blown, but quiet (because I would have to remain composed), elated hysterics. I can't help but be giddy by even the possibility of it. It would be a dream come true.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[23 May 2009|09:00pm]
AHHHH! My mom ROCKS!! Her abilities amaze me. She's a Jill of ALL trades.

I was a little hesitant to tell her I lost my charm down the drain. She was the one who bought it for me. But, I couldn't keep it from her, so of course, I told her. She wasn't upset in the least. Do you know what she did instead? Got a wrench, got under the sink, and took apart the pipes, and TA-DA!!! THERE IT WAS. MY MUSIC CHARM!! YES!!!

I did not expect her to do that. Before I could even suggest it, she was on the bathroom floor asking my Dad for a wrench. To top it off, my mom says it was a good thing I lost my charm down the sink. The pipes are in very bad shape. They're so corroded, they cracked in half while she was taking them apart. My mom gave it another week before they burst. Obviously, it would have been a bigger mess if it happened that way. We're getting replacement pipes tomorrow.

Holy cow. This incident might seem silly and insignificant, but I'm awe-struck. I believe that there is no such thing as a coincidence. If I needed physical proof that things happen for a reason, I got one today.

It's so very weird how life works. And Lord knows I will ALWAYS be fascinated by that.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[23 May 2009|07:56pm]
Preconceived notions suck.

I was cleaning all my jewelry over the sink; the cleaning solution requires water, so it was easier to just clean everything over the sink. While I was cleaning, I looked down and saw the drain open. So, I thought, 'I better close that before anything falls down it.' Of course, I kept it closed, but the water kept filling the sink to the point where I had to drain it. One particular charm was a little challenging to get clean, so I let it soak in the solution for a bit while I took a break and made something to eat.

When I came back, I started to clean the charm, forgetting to close the drain. You can guess what happened next. Yes, it FELL into the drain. I gasped. And then quickly reached down into the drain, hoping my charm just got stuck along the way. It didn't.

It was one of my favorite charms. It was a musical note that I got as a birthday gift about ten years ago, so it had sentimental value. It's not such a big deal, but still, I'm a little sad about it.

*sniffle* :(
2 Fuhgeddaboudit!s|~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[19 May 2009|08:36pm]
I. Need. To. Vent.

I feel SO MUCH damn resentment right now. And it's getting greater and greater as every minute passes. I CANNOT stand having this resentment lingering over me CONSTANTLY. It's such a hateful feeling, and it makes me SO very uncomfortable.

How the HELL did I get here? Reaching this point has been a long time coming, and now that it's here, the bitterness I feel on a daily basis scares the shit out of me.

Ugh. Ugh. UGH.

Things NEED to get better. I can't say that with enough urgency.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[26 Apr 2009|02:19am]
I had yet another funny conversation with my three year old nephew today. It involved the bird in the tree outside my bedroom window. I wish you could hear how he says "bird." It is the most adorable sound, lol. Kinda sounds like, "bee-odd." So, make sure to say it that way as you read this conversation:

(gazing outside, at the bird in the tree)
Hey! The bird can peek through the window!!

Don't worry silly...he's just hanging out.

What is that NOISE he's making? He's LOUD!

He's probably calling all of his friends.

WHAT!? Nooooo...he's not!

He begins to close the window.

Keep that open, it's a beautiful day!

You want the bird to peek in the window?!?

Man, oh man. I swear, this kid cracks me up on a daily basis. Never fails. I LOVE it!
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

[19 Apr 2009|05:25pm]
At the moment, my guard is up. Really high. I know that I'm a very forgiving person, but the last couple of years have left me hurt by some of the people I love (and respected) most, so now I'm left with the consequences. It's not like I can help it. I didn't cause it. The guard was put up all on it's own. Because of it, I just do NOT trust anyone. Or their intentions.

Pretty sad, isn't it? I hate the thought of it because I don't know if my guard will be down again anytime soon.

I'm so baffled and disappointed at the things that people do and the ulterior motives they have, especially when you think you know a person and would never expect behavior like that from them.

Disappointment seems to be a running theme lately. And there's not really much I can do about it.
~Make me an offer I can't refuse

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